Life’s Too Short to just Eat Kale and Not Laugh
Where Belly Laughs and Barefoot Walks Meet
What is “Wellness” Anyway? Let’s Get Real.
Wellness. It's a buzzword that gets thrown around so much, you might think it's a new app or a cult. People love to talk about it, sell it, and post perfectly curated photos of their avocado toast while sipping on cold-pressed juice. But what does it actually mean?
Let’s break it down, because true wellness isn't about those tiny yoga pants that cost a month’s rent, nor is it about squeezing your body into a box that fits someone else’s idea of what’s “healthy.” No, true wellness is so much juicier. Picture it: you’re sitting down to a delicious, home-cooked meal, you’re laughing with your friends so hard your stomach hurts, and you're not scrolling through your phone to make yourself feel bad about your own existence. That, my friends, is the real deal.
Step 1: Wellness is Eating High-Quality Food.
Duh. Like, if you're not eating food that's actually food—you know, the stuff that doesn’t come in a shiny package with a cartoon mascot—what are you even doing? I mean, the science is pretty clear: you can’t fill your body with mystery ingredients and expect to thrive. Your body deserves better. So, start making better choices. Buy local, support farmers, and fill your plate with real, whole foods. That’s the wellness trifecta right there.
And let’s be real for a second: do you know how hard it is to find a bag of chips without a confusing list of ingredients that sounds like it was pulled straight from a science experiment? Don’t get me started on processed garbage. Remember the wise words of the great chef and philosopher Gordon Ramsay—"Don’t mess with my food!" Okay, maybe he wasn’t talking about that, but he was onto something.
Step 2: Wellness is Laughing Your Butt Off.
Like, actually laughing—like those deep, snort-worthy belly laughs that make your abs sore and your face red. When’s the last time you had one of those? You know the ones that make you feel like you’ve just done 1,000 sit-ups, except it’s way more fun and way less sweaty? Yeah, wellness is that.
I get it; life gets serious. Kids, work, bills, laundry that multiplies faster than rabbits. But you gotta stop taking yourself so seriously. Life is short, so have fun with it. Channel your inner Ferris Bueller and remember: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Well, he was right. Stop and enjoy the ride. Eat pizza. Watch a movie. Don’t feel guilty about it. Wellness isn't about depriving yourself—it’s about enjoying balance. Sometimes, the balance is a slice of pepperoni and a Netflix binge. Own it.
Step 3: Wellness is Owning Your Insecurities.
We all have them—those little voices in our heads telling us we’re not enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough. You know what? Screw that noise. Wellness isn’t about perfect bodies or flawless skin; it’s about owning who you are, even when you have those cringe-worthy moments.
So, what if you’re not living up to some unrealistic standard? So what if you’ve got a couple of things to work through? (Cue Rudy voice): "It’s not about being perfect, it’s about doing your best." You know, like when Rudy finally got to play in that game and earned his spot. It's about standing up to your insecurities and saying, “Not today, buddy.” Wellness means stepping into your own power, insecurities and all. Embrace them, laugh at them, and move on.
Step 4: The Power of the Community.
Wellness isn't just about the individual—it’s about the collective. You want to make real change? Get involved. Educate others in your community about real food, spread the truth like it's the gospel, and let people know that healthy living doesn't require a second mortgage. Get vocal about it. Buy local. Support the farmers who are actually doing good work instead of lining the pockets of billion-dollar corporations that don't care about you.
Do you know who does care about you? Your local farmer. That’s right. You want to know what can help make America healthy again? Stop putting money into the pockets of big food companies and start supporting small businesses that care about quality. You want real wellness? Change starts with YOU, my friend. Cue The Matrix moment: “There is no spoon.” There's no system but the one you create by choosing to be part of something bigger than yourself.
Step 5: Remove the Toxins (Physical and Mental).
It’s time to get toxic out of your life—and not just the chemicals in your beauty products. I’m talking about the toxic mindset, the toxic relationships, the toxic scrolling that has you comparing yourself to people who, let’s be honest, are probably eating three-day-old pizza in their sweats. Cut the toxins out.
And yes, you should probably try walking barefoot in the grass, sand, or dirt. Not just because it’s good for your feet (though it is), but because it’s a reminder that you’re connected to the Earth. Nature’s like, “Hey, I’ve got you, buddy,” and all you have to do is stop and listen. Remember that life isn’t meant to be rushed.
The Real Wellness Recipe
So, what's the secret to wellness? It's not some secret formula or expensive detox tea. It’s this:
Buy local.
Eat real food.
Move your body (even if it’s just a dance party in your kitchen).
Laugh until your face hurts.
Rest when you need to.
Ditch the comparison game.
Stop trying to be perfect.
And if you need a movie quote to remind you, remember what The Princess Bride told us: “You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.” And those masks? They’re the ones we put on when we try to be perfect. Take it off. Wellness is messy, imperfect, and full of joy.
Now, go out there and make your life a masterpiece. Or at least, a really great pizza.
Love my snarky takes on marriage, parenting, and the chaos of raising an ADHD-fueled family—while still trying to live that crunchy dream? Help keep the laughs rolling, the sourdough rising, and the wellness wisdom flowing. Toss a few bucks my way—because organic sarcasm and real talk deserve a little funding. 😉More to Explore
