💋 Chapter 2: The Sex Talk (But Like… the Real One)

(Reclaiming Desire, Pleasure, and What You Want)

Rant

Let’s get one thing straight: this is not the sex talk you got in middle school (you know, the one with the awkward bananas and abstinence-only bullshit). This is the one you should’ve had — the one that says: your pleasure matters, your body is yours, and desire is not dirty.

But here’s what most of us got instead:

• “Good girls don’t talk about sex.”

• “Sex is for your husband.”

• “Save it. Shame it. Shove it down.”
  

Sound familiar? Yeah — we’ve been conditioned, not educated.

And even when you do figure out how your body works, society slaps a label on you: too much, too loud, too wild, too needy, too sexual. God forbid a woman enjoys herself.

This chapter is for the ones who:

Had to google what an orgasm was
Thought sex was something to “give” instead of experience
Numbed out, checked out, or felt used up
Want more but don’t even know what “more” looks like

Whether you’re single, married, dating, curious, or reclaiming your body post-trauma or burnout — this is a safe, raw, shame-free zone. We’re not just talking about sex — we’re talking about coming home to your damn self.

Let’s Talk

Sex as obligation vs. empowerment

Let’s be real: a lot of us were taught sex was something we owed — to our partner, to keep the peace, to be “good.” And when we didn’t want it? That made us broken, cold, difficult. But what if you were never broken — just conditioned?

Pleasure shouldn’t feel like a to-do list. It should feel like a homecoming.

Touched out, shut down, and checked out

When you’re constantly giving — emotionally, physically, mentally — your body can stop feeling like yours. Especially if you're masking, caretaking, or stuck in survival mode. That disconnection? It’s not your fault — but it is your invitation to reclaim your skin.

Desire is power

Desire is more than sex — it’s aliveness. It’s what fuels your creativity, your confidence, your voice. So when did we stop asking: “What turns me on?” (And not just in bed, but in life?)

Sensuality without shame

Let’s take the damn shame off. Dance in the mirror. Wear the lingerie for yourself. Touch your own skin like it’s sacred — because it is. Sensuality is your birthright, not a sin.

Shame, trauma & religious baggage

Some of us are dragging entire religions in our bedroom. Some of us still flinch at pleasure. This chapter isn’t here to fix you — it’s here to hold you while you reclaim what was always yours.