💋 Chapter 9: Boundaries, B*tch

(Saying No Without the Guilt Hangover) How to not be a doormat

Rant

Let’s be real: most of us weren’t taught boundaries—we were taught to be nice. Polite. Accommodating. Easygoing. AKA: perfect candidates for burnout, rage, resentment, and soul-level exhaustion.

I was told that saying no made me selfish. Dramatic. Dismissive. Rude. And I believed it. So I kept saying yes when I meant no. I kept bending over backwards for people who wouldn't toss me a pillow if I collapsed. And spoiler alert: it didn’t earn me gold stars. It earned me burnout, deep resentment, and a full-on health crash that left me mentally and physically wrecked.

The wake-up call? I couldn’t even get out of bed. I was depressed, exhausted, and completely depleted. That was my rock bottom. So I got help—therapy, meds, support—and I learned how to show up for myself. And that started with one uncomfortable, awkward, shaky little word: no. The first time I used it, I wanted to crawl out of my skin. But it got easier. And every time I said no to what drained me, I said yes to the woman I was becoming.

Let’s Talk

Your brain isn’t broken. You’re not lazy. You’re not “too much.” Whether you’re diagnosed, self-identified, or just vibing with the chaos, this chapter is for you. We’re talking executive dysfunction, sensory overload, masking, and the deep, exhausting toll of trying to be “normal.” Let’s stop shaming the way you function and start building systems that actually support you.