Crowned in Chaos: Why I Strut Through Life’s Sh*tstorms Like a Queen
Twists, monsters, and mugwarts be damned — this warrior was built for the wild ride.
Join me for a dose of snarky humor and witty commentary as I share the ups, downs, and lessons learned while navigating life, marriage, and parenting nuerospicy kids with an ADHD partner—all while trying to embrace the crunchy lifestyle!
The Broken Bone Theory: Why I'm Still Standing (and Strutting)
Have you heard of the broken bone theory?
Well, the way my life has gone, I can absolutely see the belief in it.
The amount of struggles and burdens I have been through is too many to count — and honestly, if I wrote them all out, we'd be here for the next year. So I'll spare you the long, drama-filled description and million examples. (You’re welcome.)
But it does make me wonder: why?
Why are some people destined to live a difficult life? Made to endure so much yet always — always — pull through. Given the short end of the stick, yet somehow, they make that janky little stick work in their favor. (Picture MacGyver fashioning a helicopter out of chewing gum and a paperclip — yeah, that kind of energy.)
Is it just knowing how to play the hand you’re dealt?
Did we do something wild in a past life that we’re stuck re-learning over and over?
Or is it all just energy like the shamans say?
I mean, think about it:
You are what you eat. (Hi, Taco Bell regret.)
Perpetuate negativity and guess what you’re swimming in?
A body in motion stays in motion. A body at rest...stays scrolling TikTok.
It’s all energy.
Now I’m rambling and swerving into other lanes of thought — but let’s roll with it.
Because honestly? That’s how this wild brain works. Starts at one point, takes the scenic route with a few pit stops, side quests, probably fights off a dragon or two — but always reaches the destination.
That’s me.
I have never been on a straight path. My path is long, winding, pothole-ridden, and full of monsters just waiting to jump out and throw a wrench in my plans. (Think “Welcome to Jumanji!”)
But that doesn't stop me. Nope.
It might slow me down, force me onto a sketchy backroad detour — but it never stops me.
Every single trial and tribulation has taught me something:
How to spot the beauty hiding in the chaos.
How to actually enjoy the slow walk where you stop to smell the roses (and not get stung by a wasp in the process).
How to bask in the sunshine, grinning like you just defeated the final boss. (Take that, Mugwarts.)
Because here's the truth:
I have never been one to run away.
I don’t back down.
I'm a fighter — since before I was even born.
I’ve learned how to duck, twist, swirl, and somersault my way through whatever hell is thrown at me, and somehow come out the other side with a smile, a strut, and occasionally an inappropriate giggle. ("I'm the king of the world!" — Titanic...except it's me on a random Tuesday.)
Even when I have no idea what monster is lurking around the corner, it doesn’t matter.
I'll find a way.
Always have. Always will.
Real Talk: When Life Sucks Donkey Balls 🫠
As you start to think about all those times that totally, epically sucked donkey balls — remember this:
You made it through.
You got out of it.
You learned something.
You’re stronger now.
You’re wiser now.
You could probably survive The Hunger Games without blinking.
All those moments that made you doubt yourself?
They weren’t punishment — they were reminders of how damn strong you really are.
So dust off that crown, baby.
Place it up high on your head (tilted, straight — your choice).
Stand tall, chest out, shoulders back, and strut your damn stuff like you’re walking the runway in your own action movie montage. ("Nobody puts Baby in a corner." — Dirty Dancing.)
You are a shining fucking star.
So bright, you’re blinding people — and guess what?
That’s their problem.
Quick PSA: Protect Your Energy
They may think that dimming your light will make theirs shine brighter. Spoiler alert: it won’t.
They gotta find their own matches. Their lack of glow is not your emergency.
Protect your energy like it’s your vintage Pyrex collection.
Protect your light like it's the last slice of homemade pie.
Protect your soul like it's the Wi-Fi password at a family reunion.
Because that wild, blazing light of yours?
It’s what’s gotten you through every monster, pothole, side quest, and final boss level you’ve ever faced.
You’re not fragile.
You’re forged.
And doll — you’re just getting started. ✨
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