👥 “In Their Shoes” Therapy

The Weird, Uncomfortable Practice That Might Actually Save Your Relationship

Let’s talk about something no one really warned us about: long-term relationships aren’t all slow dances in the kitchen and couples massages. They’re more like tag-teaming through diaper blowouts, financial stress, unresolved baggage, and at least one ongoing debate about how to load the dishwasher “correctly.”

After two decades of raising kids and running on survival mode (IYKYK), my husband and I realized something wild — we’d been treating our relationship like the junk drawer. Necessary? Yes. Used daily? Yep. But organized or prioritized? Not even close.

So we decided to do something radical: we stopped coasting and started working on our connection. No, not in a cheesy “stare into each other’s eyes for 45 minutes” kind of way (although pro tip: that actually works and can reignite a spark — even if you feel like a cringey contestant on The Bachelor).

Enter: The Role Reversal Therapy Trick That Changed Everything

Ah yes, the “Empty Chair Technique,” sometimes called “In the Driver’s Seat” by certain therapists, but let’s call it what it really is: emotionally roasting yourself while pretending to be your partner.

This powerful self-awareness exercise helps you step into your partner’s mental and emotional shoes — and boy, does it get uncomfortable in there.

Here’s the gist:
You pick a topic or recent argument, then you speak as your partner. Like full-blown method acting — minus the Oscar. You imagine what they’d say to you if they had the mic (and zero filter).