Left It in the River
How Surrendering to Christ Set Me Free
The freedom that comes from surrendering to Christ is almost unexplainable—but you know me, I’m going to try anyway. Because when something this powerful changes your life, you can’t not talk about it.
Let’s rewind for a second. For years, I carried shame, fear, worry, negative thoughts, and that ugly feeling of worthlessness like a 100-pound backpack I couldn’t take off. And then—within minutes of truly surrendering to Him—it was gone. Gone. Just like that.
The years of hating my body, criticizing my reflection, wishing I looked different—all lifted. I felt comfortable in my own skin for the first time because I finally knew the truth. And that truth set me free from those chains.
If you haven’t heard the song “Left It in the River” by Jamie MacDonald, stop right now and go listen. That song? It’s the soundtrack of what it feels like to lay it all down and walk out renewed. The lyrics hit different when you’ve truly let go and let God.
Now, if you’ve been following my journey for a while, you’ve probably noticed I’ve been trying to “switch” for over a year. You’ve seen me try all the things—red light therapy (still a dream), infrared saunas (yes, please), self-care rituals, clean eating, grounding practices… and I’m not ditching any of that. Those things make me feel amazing. The difference now? While I’m soaking in that red light glow or stepping into that sauna, I’m also chatting with my Father.
Sometimes out loud. Sometimes quietly in my head. Thanking Him. Venting to Him. Asking Him to put His hands on the things I can’t fix on my own—because let’s be real, not everything is meant for me to fix.
And then something beautiful happened. I found my way back into my kitchen.
Cooking, canning, baking, recipe creating—it’s like breathing again. It’s one of the ways I connect to Him because I know He gave me this gift. When I’m stirring a pot or kneading dough, I’m not just cooking—I’m worshiping. It’s how I praise Him for the creativity He’s poured into me.
My writing, too, has taken root in Him. Every word, every post, every story now has purpose. Not perfection—because trust me, I am far from perfect—but purpose. I’m not here to preach that you’re a sinful mess beyond saving. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.
I ignored God’s nudges for years, convinced I could handle it all myself. Spoiler alert: I couldn’t. I was basically a chicken running around with my head cut off—busy, burnt out, and breaking things I was meant to build.
But here’s the thing: I’m not clean, I’m being cleansed. God is working in me and through me. And through that process, I’m becoming more like Him every day. That’s what it means to be a child of Christ. To walk in His way. To surrender, open your heart, and let Him take the wheel.
He becomes your guide, your protector, your comfort, your safe place. And when you nurture that relationship, transformation just happens.
You can have this freedom too. You don’t have to have it all figured out (news flash: none of us do). You just have to open your heart, invite Him in, and hand Him the keys. Let Him drive. All you need to do is listen, trust, and enjoy the ride. Because at the end of that road? Eternal life with Him. And that—that’s the Gospel.
It’s not about checking boxes or performing good deeds for gold stars. It’s about connection. Relationship. Love.
And hey, if you’re not ready yet—that’s okay too. You’re still loved, still wanted, still seen. When you are ready, start with the Word. The Bible isn’t some dusty old rule book—it’s a love letter. A guide. A map to freedom. As Scripture says, “Seek and you shall find.” Start seeking, and you’ll find Him. I promise.
And for those of you wondering if I’ve “gone off the deep end” (or should I say too deep into the river), relax. I’m still here—still cooking, still preserving, still navigating life holistically. The only difference? I’ve got Christ at the center now. He’s driving this ship, and I’m just enjoying the view.
Because once you’ve left it in the river, you don’t go back to pick it up again.
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