Neurotypical, Neurodivergent, or Somewhere in the Middle

The Three-Ring Circus of Being None, All, and Exactly Who You Are

Join me for a dose of snarky humor and witty commentary as I share the ups, downs, and lessons learned while navigating life, marriage, and parenting with an ADHD partner and child—all while trying to embrace the crunchy lifestyle!

Neurotypical, Neurodivergent, and All the Trauma In Between: A Brain’s Journey Through Chaos

Ever wonder why your brain is basically a high-speed car chase while someone else’s is a slow, scenic boat ride through a peaceful canal? Yeah, me too. Turns out, there’s an entire spectrum of brain function, and somehow, mine landed smack dab in the middle of "chaotic genius meets malfunctioning Windows update."

But before we go handing out labels, let’s talk about how brains work—and more importantly, how life, trauma, and a few questionable coping mechanisms may have turned yours into the unpredictable thrill ride it is today.

Neurotypical: The "Normal" Brain (Whatever That Means)

Ah, the neurotypical brain. The gold standard of societal expectations. These brains follow the rulebook, and honestly, I’m both impressed and slightly suspicious. These are the people who remember where they put their keys without tearing apart the entire house, don’t get lost in an existential crisis over a minor inconvenience, and can actually make small talk without mentally rehearsing each line beforehand.

But let’s be real—even the most "put-together" brains get hit with a dose of trauma, and suddenly, things aren’t so orderly anymore. Ever freeze in an argument because your brain decided to time-travel back to childhood? That’s some trauma magic at work.

Neurotypical Traits (Before Life Messes Them Up):

• Social Cues: They can read the room like a pro. Raised eyebrow? Annoyance. Forced laugh? Fake interest. But trauma can throw a wrench in that, turning every social interaction into an emotional guessing game.
  Example: You say, "Hey, we should hang out!" Their response is a slight pause. Your brain? They hate me. I should move to a remote cabin in the woods.

• Focus & Attention: Distractions? Minimal. Efficiency? High. But slap on some trauma, and suddenly, every creaky floorboard at night is a life-or-death situation.
  Example: "Was that just the wind? Or a ghost? Or my overdue responsibilities coming to haunt me?"

The Neurodivergent Brain: A Symphony of Chaos

Now, let’s talk about the brains that don’t fit neatly into the "normal" box. ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and their wild cousins make life both fascinating and exhausting. These brains process the world differently—sometimes brilliantly, sometimes like a computer with 37 tabs open and music playing somewhere but you have no idea which one.

Oh, and then we have the bonus round: trauma.

When trauma joins the neurodivergent party, it’s like adding fireworks to a bonfire. Everything intensifies. Focus? What focus? Emotional regulation? Never met her. Impulse control? Laughed in my face.

Neurodivergent Traits (Before Trauma Decides to Meddle):

• ADHD: The brain equivalent of a cat chasing a laser pointer. It’s all about hyperfixation, forgetfulness, and impulse decisions you immediately regret. But with trauma? Now every unfinished task feels like a personal failure, and every distraction is a potential existential crisis.
  Example: Trying to focus, but oops, there’s a thought! And another! And now you’re deep-diving into the history of medieval plumbing instead of answering that important email.

• Autism (ASD): Routines, predictability, and controlled environments are the MVPs here. But throw in trauma? Now unexpected changes feel like full-scale emergencies, and sensory sensitivities are cranked up to DEFCON 1.

  Example: Your usual grocery store changes the layout, and suddenly, it’s like you’ve been dropped into an alien planet where nothing makes sense.

• Sensory Sensitivities: Lights, sounds, textures—everything is dialed up. Trauma takes those sensitivities and adds an extra layer of "the world is personally attacking me."

  Example: Fluorescent lights? More like tiny demons flickering judgment at you. Sudden loud noises? Instant fight-or-flight mode engaged.

And Then There's Me: A Walking Contradiction

I’m a jumbled, chaotic mixture of it all. I have neurotypical moments, combined with the hyperfixation and impulsivity of ADHD, the sensory sensitivities and need for routine of autism, and then there’s the trauma of domestic abuse and the unhealthy coping mechanisms I carried for too long.

I don’t have a diagnosis for any of these, but let’s be real: I fit into all four categories. My home is basically a crash course in neurodivergence. One child has autism, another has ADHD, and my partner? Yep, part of the ADHD club. And then there’s my other kid, a delightful blend of neurotypical and ADHD.

We’re a three-ring circus of creativity, drama, chaos, and love. It can be exhausting. It can be overwhelming. But at the end of the day, we make it work.

Writing this all out now? I’m no longer questioning myself. I don’t need a formal diagnosis to validate my existence, unless I change my mind. I am what I am—and it’s beautifully chaotic in the best way possible.

The Grand Conclusion (Because You’ve Stuck With Me This Long)

• Your Brain is the Boss: Whether you’re neurotypical, neurodivergent, traumatized, or a cursed mix of all three, your brain is doing its best with what it’s been given. Sometimes that means thriving, and sometimes it means staring at the ceiling at 2 AM questioning every life choice.
  

• Trauma Changes the Game: Even the most "normal" brain can get thrown into chaos with enough trauma. And neurodivergent brains? Oh boy, they get a whole new level of intensity.
  

• You Don’t Need a Label to Be Valid: Maybe you have a diagnosis. Maybe you don’t. Either way, you’re still valid. You’re still real. And you’re not alone in the chaos.
  

So here’s to all of us living in the beautifully messy intersection of brains, trauma, and life. May we continue to navigate it with humor, resilience, and just the right amount of "What the hell is my brain doing now?" energy.

If you see pieces of yourself in this, take a moment to embrace your own beautiful chaos. You’re not alone, and your journey is valid—no diagnosis needed.

And if all else fails? Blame it on the brain. It’s got your back.

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