No, I’m Not Rude—You’re Just Sensitive

Serving Up the Cold, Hard Truth (Because Sugarcoating is for Donuts, Not Advice)

Join me for a dose of snarky humor and witty commentary as I share the ups, downs, and lessons learned while navigating life, marriage, and parenting nuerospicy kids with an ADHD partner—all while trying to embrace the crunchy lifestyle!

Unapologetically Me: Embracing My Truth Without the Sugarcoating

I am not rude. I am not a bitch. I am blunt, straightforward, truthful, and deeply logical. Yet, my communication style is often misunderstood because it lacks an excess of emotion. And honestly, I’ve never understood why everything needs to be drenched in feelings. Do we really need to throw a parade every time someone states a fact?

For years, I’ve been told, You can’t say that. Don’t say that. That was rude. You’re a bitch. Oh, please—if I had a dollar for every time someone told me that, I’d be sipping mocktails on a yacht right now. But that has never been my intention. I am not trying to be cruel—I just don’t see the point in dressing up the truth with fluff. And for far too long, I listened to the noise and tried to contort myself into something more palatable. Spoiler alert: It didn’t work. I cannot hand you a shit sandwich with a pretty little bow. I can only give you the truth—whether you asked for it or not. (You're welcome.)

I view my honesty as helpful, not harsh. My brother-in-law even nicknamed me Meana Tina and The Ice Queen. Cute, right? It’s not that I lack feelings—I simply can’t tolerate bullshit. I call it out, and that frustrates people because it means they can’t hide behind their lies. Sorry, not sorry. I have an analytical and logical brain that thrives on facts, not fluff. Fluff makes my skin crawl—like a Hallmark movie marathon on steroids.

I also have a sarcastic sense of humor that mostly amuses me and no one else. (I guess my comedic genius is just ahead of its time.) These are the qualities of autism that make me who I am. And while my bluntness may be off-putting to some, my ADHD side is a completely different beast—wild, reckless, and ready to keep the party going forever. But I don’t love that side of me. She’s too impulsive, too chaotic. She gives my autistic side major anxiety over what I did, what I said, and how much I spent. (Seriously, past me, what were you thinking?!) When I let her run free, she burns everything down in her path, and I’m left to pick up the pieces.

A handful of people truly understand me, and with them, I can be my real self without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. I used to be unbothered by how others perceived me, but over time, the constant narrative of being too much, too rude, not for them started to isolate me. It made me feel alone. But I refuse to shrink myself to fit into spaces that were never meant for me. I am not a pair of jeans from 2006—I don’t need to fit in.

I want to get back to that fearless, carefree person who didn’t give a damn about what others thought. If you don’t like me, that’s fine. I’ll still be my awesome self, surrounded by family and close friends who love me as I am. I am empathetic and caring, but I will never sugarcoat the truth for you. And honestly, why would you even want that? Shit is shit—it’s not a candy apple. Why sprinkle glitter on something rotten? (Unless you’re into that. No judgment. Okay, maybe a little.)

There is so much freedom in releasing the weight of other people’s opinions. I get that it’s hard—I’ve struggled with it for a decade. But when I think back to my teens and early twenties, I remember how light I felt when I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. My people—my unicorns—will find me, and I will find them. Many already have. I don’t need to force it.

I can enjoy my own company—reading in the garden, soaking up the sun on the water. I don’t need validation from anyone. So here’s my pep talk to myself (and to you, if you need it): Fck ‘em.* You are the shit. Stop worrying about talking too much, sharing too much, being too loud, or potentially hurting someone’s feelings. None of that matters.

Focus on what fuels you, not what drains you. My fuel is my family, my friends, nature, and writing. That’s where my happiness lives. Everything else is just noise, and my brain is crowded enough as it is.

If I’m overstimulated and need to leave, I won’t apologize for taking care of myself. If I wear my Loop earplugs because the world is too loud, I don’t owe anyone an explanation. If my words trigger you, that’s a you problem, not a me problem.

My goal moving forward? Stop giving a shit. Stop masking to make others comfortable. Just be me. What about you?

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