Perimenopause Is a Dumpster Fire—And I’m Done Pretending It’s Fine
Because “normal for your age” isn’t a diagnosis—and I’m not settling for suffering
Before you dive in...
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Oh, honey. Buckle up—this one’s for every woman who hit 40 and thought, “WTF is happening to my body?” Welcome to Perimenopause: The Unofficial Hunger Games Edition where the odds are never in your favor, your body betrays you daily, and doctors are still prescribing Band-Aids for bullet wounds.
I’m Doing All the Things and Still Falling Apart
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m out here slathering on the magnesium, swallowing supplements like Tic Tacs, drinking herbal teas made by woodland fairies, and sweating my ass off in saunas trying to heal. And yet—I’m still a goddamn mess. Not a cute hot-mess-in-a-rom-com kind of way. I’m talking mental breakdowns, physical exhaustion, and bloating so intense I could float down a river like a sad, hormonal balloon.
And when I go to the doctor? I’m met with the medical equivalent of a shrug and a prescription. One med for sleep, another for mood, a third for acne, and maybe toss in an antidepressant for good measure. At this point, I don’t need a pharmacy—I am one. Except I said NO. I want the root cause, not a fucking symptom checklist with a side of SSRIs.
I asked if it could be perimenopause, and you’d think I asked for a black-market organ. “Well, it could be... but that’s just part of aging.”
EXCUSE ME?!
I’m not 85. I’m 40-freaking-years-old and supposed to be in my prime—not feeling like a grandma with one foot in the grave. My joints hurt, my skin is breaking out like I’m 16, and I cry over literally nothing. Hormones? More like horrors.
Flashback to Teenage Hormone Hell
This isn’t new. I’ve been in hormone hell since puberty. My periods were like scenes from The Exorcist—vomiting, curled up in pain, bleeding through everything, and missing a week of school every month. I was put on birth control to “fix” it (spoiler alert: it didn’t). I stayed on the pill until I was 19 and pregnant with my first child, then went back on, off again for baby number two, then BAM—baby number three.
Enter: Esure coils and a whole new level of hormonal chaos. Acne, insane PMS, mood swings, breast pain, weight fluctuations—you name it. Birth control didn’t solve a damn thing. It just slapped duct tape over my hormone system and called it a day.
Eventually I had a uterine ablation to stop the heavy periods. But surprise! That did nothing for the underlying hormone shitshow. My skin was still a war zone, and my moods made Dr. Jekyll look stable.
Meds That Made It Worse
Tried it all. Natural remedies? Yup. Nothing worked. Antibiotics for acne? Tried that too—for five freakin’ years. Minocycline ruined my gut and spironolactone just added another layer of “WTF is happening to me.” When I finally said goodbye to all of that and switched to DIM, I finally started to feel somewhat human again.
But then... 40 hit.
Turning 40 felt like being hit by a hormonal freight train. Night sweats, no sleep, mood swings, brain fog so thick I couldn’t remember my own name, depression that felt like quicksand—I was DONE. And when I brought all this up? “That’s just normal at your age.”
I CALL BULLSHIT.
No one wants to “ride it out” while their life turns into a flaming pile of hormone-induced chaos. You know what isn’t empowering? Waiting 15 years for this madness to end like it’s some kind of prison sentence.
40 Is the New Dumpster Fire
We Need to Burn the System Down (and Start Fresh)
Women’s hormonal health is decades behind. We’re taught nothing about our cycles except how not to get pregnant, slapped on the pill if anything looks “off,” and then tossed aside once we start aging like milk instead of wine. Newsflash: hormones change WEEKLY. Testing once a year and saying “you’re fine” is laughable.
And yes, hormone therapy should absolutely be an option—but so should real, nourishing food, herbs, adaptogens, sleep support, and education on how to move your body based on your cycle. Hell, men should be educated on this too. Maybe then they’d stop calling us crazy and start realizing we’re hormonal warriors fighting battles they can’t even comprehend.
Bonus Round: Neurodivergence—The Surprise Guest Star That Crashes the Party Uninvited
You know what's fun? When your brain decides to throw a curveball right in the middle of your hormonal meltdown. Just when you think you're barely holding it together, bam—your long-lost neurodivergent traits show up like they never left.
“Oh hey, it’s me—ADHD! Thought I’d swing by and make sure you forget every appointment, leave the laundry in the washer for two days, and get overwhelmed in the cereal aisle. Again.”
Here’s the truth bomb no one talks about: perimenopause can unmask or magnify neurodivergence in women. Many of us were undiagnosed as kids because, guess what? Girls often present differently. We weren’t bouncing off walls—we were daydreaming, masking, people-pleasing, and internalizing all the chaos. But now, in midlife, the hormonal support system that once buffered our brains is basically on a slow vacation to hell... and all those quirks? They're taking center stage.
👂 Sensory Overload: Why Does the World Sound Like a War Zone?
The blender? Too loud. Your kid chewing cereal? Actual torture. Bright lights in stores? Why do they need to be that aggressive?! Suddenly, you’re avoiding crowds, skipping parties, and wondering why you feel like you’re constantly walking through life with your nerves exposed.
It’s not just the hormones (although, yes, they’re jerks too). It’s that your nervous system is fried, and if you already had sensory sensitivity, it's now on steroids. And trying to mask it all? Exhausting. No wonder you want to scream-cry into a pillow and live in a quiet cabin with just your herbs and your dog.
🧠 Executive Dysfunction: The To-Do List is Now a Torture Device
Remember when you used to be on top of things? (Or at least faked it really well?) Now you're staring at a pile of clean laundry like it's written in ancient Sanskrit. You’ve opened the fridge three times and still forgot what you needed. Multi-tasking? LOL. It’s like your brain tabs are all open, glitching, and playing elevator music on loop.
It’s not laziness. It’s executive dysfunction—and yes, it can get worse in perimenopause, especially for women with ADHD tendencies. You’re not broken, your brain is just trying to run Windows 95 on 2025 software.
🤹♀️ Emotional Dysregulation: Why Am I Crying at Dog Commercials?
Mood swings? Sure. But what about when you can’t handle the tiniest bit of criticism without spiraling? Or you go from happy to Hulk in 0.3 seconds because someone left crumbs on the counter?
This isn’t you being “too sensitive.” This is your dopamine-depleted, estrogen-scarce brain trying to survive. Add neurodivergence to the mix and emotions start coming in hot—loud, messy, and often uninvited.
🕵️♀️ The Great Realization: Maybe You’ve Been Neurodivergent All Along
Perimenopause has a funny way of ripping the mask off. Many women in their late 30s and 40s start questioning, “Wait... is this anxiety? Or was I actually undiagnosed ADHD my whole life?” And the answer for a surprising number is: yep. You were.
But guess what? Knowing is power. This could be the very thing that finally makes it all make sense—why you struggled in certain environments, needed more downtime, felt “different,” or carried shame for not fitting the mold. You weren’t broken. You were neurodivergent and surviving in a neurotypical world—and now you’re just more aware of it.
So while you’re out here juggling night sweats, acne, and zero libido—don’t be shocked if neurodivergent traits start popping up like a surprise TikTok trend. The goal isn't to freak you out—it's to give language to what you're experiencing.
Because once you can name it, you can work with it.
Whether it’s embracing quiet routines, reducing stimulation, supporting your nervous system, or getting assessed for ADHD or autism in adulthood—there are ways to feel supported instead of just… burned out and broken.
And yes, sometimes that support looks like saying “no” to social events, wearing noise-canceling headphones to Target, or laying on your floor in silence like a dramatic 19th-century heroine. We love that for you.
Because the real glow-up in your 40s? Is radical self-awareness and unapologetic self-care.
Finally—A Real Conversation with a Real Provider
Perimenopause is not a vibe. It’s a physiological upheaval that deserves real attention, real solutions, and real damn support. If you feel like you’re unraveling, you’re not broken. You’re just not getting the care you need.
To anyone feeling lost, bloated, broken out, and broken down—you’re not alone.
And you’re definitely not crazy. You’re just in the thick of the hormonal inferno.
So, I said screw the system and went rogue. I found a provider online (because of course—where else does one find competent women’s health care these days?) who actually specializes in hormonal health and perimenopause. And for the first time, I didn’t feel like a walking complaint list or a hot mess with a bad attitude. I felt heard—like truly seen, validated, and respected. They looked at my symptoms, my cycle history, and my actual life—and treated me like a whole person instead of a walking hormone tornado.
And then my new specialist hit me with this golden nugget:
“You’re not crazy. You’re just out of rhythm.”
YES. That’s it. That’s exactly how it feels—like my internal symphony is completely off beat. Estrogen’s gone rogue, progesterone's missing in action, and cortisol’s over here acting like the main character.
But here’s the real kicker—we’re finally doing something about it.
We’re running full-panel hormone tests throughout my cycle to see what’s actually going on in real-time, not just one random blood draw on a Tuesday morning. We’re diving into estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, cortisol—the whole hormonal party crew. And based on those results, we’re putting together a personalized plan to get me back into rhythm.
Yes, we’re incorporating nutrition, lifestyle tweaks, and targeted supplementation—because those things matter. But guess what? Sometimes those gentle nudges just don’t cut it. Sometimes your body needs more than chamomile tea and cruciferous veggies.
Because let me be honest—I’ve always been a little extra. My body has never played by the rules. So while DIM and magnesium might work wonders for some, I need the heavy hitters. That’s why I’m also using bioidentical hormone therapy—because my body isn’t producing enough on its own, and I refuse to feel like an exhausted shell of myself for the next 15+ years.
And let me tell you—it’s already making a difference. That fog? Lifting. That anxiety? Calming. That fire in my soul? Starting to spark again.
So stay tuned, because I’m going to be sharing the exact roadmap we’re using to bring me back to life—from lab work to lifestyle shifts, from herbal support to hormone therapy. There is no one-size-fits-all here, and that’s the point.
This isn’t just a healing journey.
This is a damn reclamation.
I’m not here to suffer—I’m here to thrive. And if you're anything like me, you deserve the same.
Share the sh*t out of this.
Seriously—don’t keep this gold to yourself. If you’ve got a group chat full of tired, bloated, foggy-brained besties wondering if they’re losing their minds—send this their way. There is real help out there, and no woman deserves to suffer in silence or feel like she’s “just getting older.”
Let’s raise the damn bar for perimenopause care.
Let’s demand answers.
Let’s take our power (and our hormones) back.
Because thriving is not off the table—it’s the whole damn goal. 👑🔥