Surviving the Last Miserable Weeks of Winter
(Without Committing a Crime, because we want to enjoy the beach and sunshine)
Join me for a dose of snarky humor and witty commentary as I share the ups, downs, and lessons learned while navigating life, marriage, and parenting nuerospicy kids with an ADHD partner—all while trying to embrace the crunchy lifestyle!
Winter is Holding Us Hostage—Here’s How to Cope
Winter is long in the northern hemisphere. So long that by the time spring is supposed to roll around, people start losing their minds—literally. Suicide rates go up, and the collective sanity of winter dwellers takes a nosedive. I get it. We've endured months of cold, dark days that feel like they will never end. Trust me, I'm over it too. But while I’m mentally packing my bags for a tropical escape, the rest of my family is stuck in a vortex of depression and bad attitudes. The knee-jerk snaps, the frustration, the cabin fever—it's all bubbling over in my house, and frankly, it's beyond irritating.
We all just want to bask in the warmth of the sun and feel like functioning humans again. But since Mother Nature is dragging her feet, we have to find ways to survive this last miserable stretch of winter without committing any felonies. So, here’s what I do to keep from completely losing my mind:
First, I clean. I know, groundbreaking stuff. But honestly, a cluttered space equals a cluttered mind, and when everyone in the house has ADHD and Autism, chaos just breeds more chaos. If I have to trip over one more rogue sock or step on a LEGO, someone’s getting exiled to the snowbank. As Yoda once said, "Control, control, you must learn control!" And while I’m not a Jedi, I do believe that a clean house is the first step to not losing my last shred of sanity.
Next, we tackle the wardrobe situation. Nothing says “I'm desperate for summer” like purging the closet of winter wear and making space for future sundresses and flip-flops. Will I still be wearing a parka in May? Probably. But it’s the illusion of seasonal progress that counts. Plus, going through clothes gives me a great excuse to dramatically toss items onto the bed while declaring, "I have nothing to wear!" like I’m in a 90s rom-com.
On those rare days when the sun graces us with its presence and the wind chill doesn’t feel like a personal attack, I crack the windows to let in some fresh air. Nothing cleanses the home quite like a blast of non-recycled oxygen. It’s like a factory reset for the house (minus the weird updates and glitches). And let’s be real—our homes start smelling like hibernating bears after being sealed up all winter. Even those well-placed air purifiers can’t make your house smell like actual fresh air, and trying to recreate that with artificial fragrances is a one-way ticket to hormone disruption. So, we skip those cancer-riddled air fresheners like the plague.
Food-wise, I start shifting away from heavy comfort foods and sneak in some lighter, summery meals to trick my brain into believing warmer days are near. Winter may be clinging on like an overly attached ex, but I refuse to keep eating like a bear preparing for hibernation. This is the time of year when I start pretending a smoothie bowl is just as satisfying as a giant bowl of chili. (Spoiler alert: it’s not, but we fake it till we make it.) I throw burgers, brats, and summer salads into the mix, grilling in the cold like a true Midwesterner who refuses to let the weather win. If I close my eyes while eating a brat, I can almost hear the sizzle of a summer cookout… almost. (Spoiler alert: it’s not, but we fake it till we make it.)
And because seasonal depression is real, I head to the tanning salon for a couple of short sessions. Before anyone gets their organic, non-toxic knickers in a twist, I’m not trying to audition for a role on Jersey Shore—I just need that warmth and a little Vitamin D boost to keep me from turning into a full-fledged gremlin. As Elle Woods famously said, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy." Well, so does a little faux sunshine.
My daughter and I also go full-on self-care mode. We do deep hair treatments, hydrating face masks, red light therapy, and indulge in some solid girl time with binge-worthy TV. Meanwhile, the boys head outside with the dogs to “check the property,” which is code for pretending to be wilderness explorers while looking for deer sheds and avoiding real work. It’s like a National Geographic special, but with more procrastination.
Since a week-long escape to a sunny paradise isn’t in the budget, these little rituals have to suffice. Though, honestly, even if we could jet off to a beach, I wonder—would it actually help? Or would we just spiral into an even deeper depression when we had to return to this frozen wasteland? I suspect the latter. Much like Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption, I’d crawl through a mile of winter just to see the sunshine… and then probably cry when I had to come back.
April might promise showers and May flowers in some parts of the world, but up north, spring is basically a myth. We get two weeks of mud, and then—bam!—straight into three months of summer that feel like a fleeting dream before we’re back to scraping ice off our windshields again. The circle of life, but depressing.
So, should I just move? Maybe. But then I wouldn’t be here to tell you how to survive this nonsense. And let’s be honest—misery loves company. Now, let’s hear it. What are your tricks for making it through the final, soul-crushing weeks of winter without losing your sanity?
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