The real reason you're fighting (and how to fix it)
Don’t Wait Until You’re Ready to Murder Each Other to Try Couples Therapy
Think therapy is just for couples on the brink of throwing divorce papers at each other? Think again. Couples therapy isn’t the last stop before disaster—it’s the secret sauce to help even the happiest lovebirds thrive. I’ve been preaching the gospel of therapy for years, and let me tell you, getting a professional involved isn’t admitting failure—it’s leveling up. Therapy gives you the tools to connect, communicate, and grow. No dramatic fights required.
Whether you’re in the honeymoon phase or can barely remember life before sweatpants and Netflix marathons, couples therapy can unlock a whole new level of relationship awesomeness. Trust me, it’s worth it.
After years of individual therapy (because, let’s face it, we all have stuff), my husband and I decided to give couples counseling a whirl. Why not? We’ve built a life together over 17 years, 15 of those as husband and wife. And by "built," I mean survived raising kids, juggling crazy work schedules, tackling home renovations that never end, and figuring out how to pay for it all without losing our minds.
Through it all, our commitment has stayed strong—stronger than the drywall in our fixer-upper, at least. But we realized it was time to invest in us again. And yes, that meant dragging our tired selves to therapy because our next chapter deserves more than just coasting along.
Now that our kids are getting more independent (aka they’re no longer clinging to our legs or throwing spaghetti on the walls), we’re entering a new season of life. One where we get to focus on each other again. The bittersweet part? Realizing our babies aren’t babies anymore. The sweet part? Rediscovering the magic of being just us.
And let me tell you, therapy is helping us dust off the cobwebs of our relationship. We’re learning how to actually listen to each other instead of playing the “who’s-more-right” game. Spoiler alert: no one wins that game.
Back to Dating (Yes, Really)
So, we’re dating again. Not the “Netflix on the couch while one of us falls asleep” kind of dating. I mean actual date nights—ones that require effort, real clothes, and possibly shaving.
And guess what? It’s fun. After 17 years, we’d forgotten how exciting it is to reconnect without a child interrupting every 5 seconds. Pro tip: When you schedule a date night, don’t cancel it for laundry or work emails. Those will still be there tomorrow.
Date nights aren’t just for Instagram bragging rights (though I won’t lie, a cute pic doesn’t hurt). They’re about laughing together, trying new things, and remembering why you chose each other in the first place. Yes, even when your partner still leaves the toilet seat up.
Therapy: Your Secret Weapon
Here’s the thing: A good therapist is like a relationship ninja. They can cut through the BS and show you the bigger picture. Think of them as a GPS for your partnership—they’ll help you navigate when you’re feeling lost or stuck in the same old arguments.
Plus, therapy isn’t just about fixing problems; it’s about making good things great. The communication skills you learn in therapy will spill over into every relationship you have—whether it’s with your partner, your kids, or that nosy neighbor who won’t stop asking when you’re going to mow the lawn.
Therapy Without the Commute
If your schedule looks like a Jenga tower about to topple, virtual counseling is your best friend. Seriously, no excuses. Services like Talkspace, Regain by BetterHelp, and Withours bring therapy right to your living room (or wherever your Wi-Fi reaches). No awkward waiting rooms or rushing to beat traffic.
My personal fave? Talkspace. For $65 a week, you can spill your heart out to a licensed therapist without ever putting on pants. Use code SPACE to save $100, because we love a good discount.