The Truth That Changed Me: Learning to Lead by Letting Go
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Walking in Truth
1 John 1:6 — “If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.”
Truth calls out the lies we get comfortable with — the ones we use to justify our choices and actions. It doesn’t coddle; it convicts. And when we finally stop resisting, truth brings freedom.
The Curse of Seeing Too Much
The truth is, I struggle with control. I’ve been blessed—and burdened—with the ability to spot flaws. And more often than not, I speak up when I probably shouldn’t.
I’ve always had an eye for what’s “off” — in people, systems, or situations. It’s both a blessing and a burden. My instinct is to fix things, to speak up, even when silence might be wiser. But I’ve learned that constant correction can close hearts instead of opening them. Sometimes, truth needs patience to take root.
For example, as a parent, I’ve seen this in action. When a child lashes out or questions authority, our first instinct is to correct or control. But often, the outburst isn’t rebellion — it’s hurt, confusion, or fear. The same goes for adults. Like when a parent filled with anger demands answers but doesn’t actually want to hear them — they just want submission. That’s not how we raise faithful children of Christ who live in love, grace, patience, and humility. I’ve fallen into that trap myself — wanting to know the why, but then judging it as an excuse.
We have to be patient and listen with an open heart to hear the full truth, then use discernment to understand it.
Listening for Truth with an Open Heart
When we choose to listen with love instead of react with control, we create space for truth to speak. It’s in those quiet moments that understanding grows.
I’ve seen this play out in small, everyday moments. When my child acted out, my first reaction was to correct immediately. But when I slowed down and listened, I discovered the truth — they weren’t being defiant; they were overwhelmed, tired, or anxious. Truth revealed itself only after I chose to listen first.
When we live this way — following truth instead of blindly following rules — we raise people who can think, discern, and choose righteousness because they want to, not because they have to.
Relinquishing Control in Marriage
And that brings me to where God has been working most in my life lately — my marriage.
I am currently working through relinquishing my fleshly control issues with my husband — trusting that his decisions are rooted in Christ even when I don’t understand them. This is insanely hard for my fleshly tent. I want to understand everything so I can prepare for what may come, but that’s not how faith works.
This struggle reminds me of Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:34 — “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
When we’re so focused on the outcome or the future, we miss what’s happening right in front of us. Each new day has its own worries, and when we start piling them up, the weight can crush us.
When we fully trust in God, we can:
Let go of control: You don’t need to have everything figured out.
Trust God’s timing: He’s already ahead of you.
Focus on today: Be present, be faithful, and let tomorrow unfold under God’s care.
Submission: A Misunderstood Strength
This principle also applies to marriage, especially in how we view submission. I know the word submission sounds heavy — maybe even negative — but biblically, it’s about love, trust, and respect.
Submission describes a concept of willingly yielding to authority with respect, not a forced or unequal power dynamic. It’s about aligning with God’s divine order — not silencing your voice.
Men are meant to lead, protect, and provide. But how can they do that if we’re constantly stepping into those roles ourselves? When we try to control everything, we don’t leave room for them to rise into the role God designed for them.
True submission isn’t about weakness — it’s about trust. It’s not losing your voice; it’s allowing your husband to lead in love, while you support in strength. God designed marriage as a partnership rooted in respect, not dominance.
The Truth That Shook Me
At Bible study, I had a huge truth bomb dropped on me by a brother in Christ who asked me something that hit straight to my core:
“How can your husband lead if you’re still holding the reins?”
That question stopped me in my tracks. My husband can’t step into his God-given role if I’m gripping it out of fear and control. If I truly want him to grow as a leader, I have to step back, let go, and trust both him and God.
It was a jaw-dropping, heart-convicting moment — one of those times where truth hits like a slap and a hug at the same time. I realized that change can’t happen when you’re the one blocking it.
Truth as a Doorway to Transformation
It all circles back to truth. When that brother in Christ spoke truth into my life, it cracked my heart wide open.
Truth isn’t always easy — it often confronts our pride and ego. But when we receive it with humility, it becomes the doorway to transformation. Change begins when we surrender what we’ve been gripping so tightly.
Maybe God is asking you to loosen your grip, too.
What are you holding onto so tightly that it’s keeping Him from moving in your life?
Letting go doesn’t mean losing control — it means giving it to the One who never loses.
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If this message resonated with you, don’t keep it to yourself! Share this article with friends, family, or anyone who could use encouragement in faith, marriage, and trust in God’s guidance.
Together, we can inspire others to let go, walk in peace, and embrace the fullness of God’s design for their relationships.
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