What to Remove for a Low-Toxin Lifestyle: Relationships
Easy-to-Follow Lists for Every Area of Your Life
Recognizing toxicity in relationships can be challenging. I stayed in a very toxic relationship far longer than I should have, and I didn’t realize how harmful it was until it almost broke me. With the help of therapy (highly recommend—it’s like a tune-up for your soul), I learned to identify toxic behaviors, set healthy boundaries, and prioritize my well-being.
When it comes to family, navigating these dynamics can be even harder. Open communication is key, but explaining your feelings and addressing toxic patterns isn’t always easy. A therapist can be an invaluable resource to guide you through these tough conversations. (Because sometimes you need a professional to translate what your family is actually saying.)
Sometimes, as difficult as it may be, removing yourself from certain relationships is the healthiest choice. Remember, prioritizing your mental and emotional health is never selfish—it’s necessary. (You can’t pour from an empty cup. Unless you’re pouring coffee. Then, by all means, pour away.)
Here’s a list of toxic behaviors or dynamics to watch for and remove from relationships to cultivate healthier, more supportive connections:
Dishonesty – Lies, secrets, or lack of transparency erode trust. Foster open and honest communication in all relationships.
Gaslighting – Manipulating someone into doubting their reality or perception can be mentally damaging. Ensure mutual respect and validation are present.
Negative Criticism – Constant belittling or put-downs that target a person's character can harm self-esteem. Encourage constructive, supportive feedback instead.
Manipulation – Using guilt or coercion to get your way compromises fairness. Strive for respect, healthy boundaries, and mutual understanding.
Disrespect – Consistently ignoring boundaries, belittling opinions, or disregarding feelings undermines connection and safety. Practice active listening and mutual respect.
Controlling Behavior – Trying to dictate another person’s actions, choices, or appearance limits their autonomy. Nurture independence and trust.
Emotional Abuse – Intentionally hurting someone emotionally through insults, shaming, or creating an environment of fear damages self-worth. Choose kindness, empathy, and emotional support.
Lack of Accountability – Refusing to acknowledge mistakes and blaming others perpetuates conflict and prevents growth. Take responsibility for actions and apologize sincerely when necessary.
Toxic Positivity – Ignoring or invalidating emotions by insisting on being “happy” or “positive” all the time can diminish genuine connection. Allow space for authentic emotions and struggles.
Enabling – Supporting or tolerating harmful behaviors, such as addiction or irresponsibility, is detrimental to both parties. Encourage healthy, responsible choices and offer support.
Jealousy and Possessiveness – Unhealthy jealousy creates unnecessary tension. Foster trust and celebrate each other’s successes and independence.
Lack of Empathy – Inability to understand or care for the emotions or perspectives of others can cause disconnection. Cultivate a compassionate, understanding attitude.
Over-dependency – Relying excessively on someone for emotional support or validation can strain the relationship. Cultivate self-reliance and encourage healthy balance.
Toxic Comparisons – Frequently comparing yourself or others to others can create feelings of inadequacy and resentment. Focus on individual strengths and growth.
Withholding Affection – Manipulating or punishing someone by refusing affection creates emotional distance. Provide genuine care and affection freely.
Lack of Boundaries – Failing to establish personal boundaries results in resentment, burnout, or feeling overwhelmed. Set healthy boundaries to protect emotional well-being.
Competing Rather Than Supporting – Always trying to outdo or one-up the other person prevents collaboration and mutual growth. Encourage mutual support and celebrate each other's wins.
Unresolved Conflict – Ignoring or avoiding important issues leads to festering resentment and emotional buildup. Practice conflict resolution with an open mind and willingness to compromise.
Disregard for Personal Growth – Being in a relationship that discourages growth, whether it’s intellectual, spiritual, or personal, can stunt individual potential. Foster a space for both parties to evolve.
Toxic Humor – Using humor at the expense of others (e.g., through sarcasm or ridicule) can damage self-esteem and create bitterness. Use humor to uplift and bond rather than put down.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, kindness, and open communication. Removing toxic dynamics creates a foundation where both people can flourish together. (And maybe even have a drama-free holiday gathering. A girl can dream.)