Your Bean is Calling (Guys, Take Notes)
A Hands-On Guide to Mastering the Art of Clitoral Bliss (Because Guess What? It’s Not a Myth!)
Flick That Bean: It’s Called Self-Care, Sweetie
Okay, people—gather ‘round and let’s talk about the bean. No, not your morning coffee, though some of y’all might need one to get through this chat. I’m talking about that bean. The one that sits quietly like a main character waiting for the rest of you to notice its brilliance. Flick it, caress it, whatever you want—it’s yours. And getting to know it isn’t dirty; it’s the key to unlocking a When Harry Met Sally level of satisfaction in your life (yes, the deli scene).
Ladies, Let’s Break This Down
Here’s the deal: if you don’t know what makes you feel good, how can anyone else figure it out? I mean, we’re not all lucky enough to have some guy standing outside our window with a boom box playing Peter Gabriel (though let’s be real, that guy still has a lot to learn about direction).
You’re in charge here. Getting familiar with your body is like building a playlist of bangers—literally and figuratively. Touch, flick, experiment—do whatever feels right, because when you finally hand over the setlist to a partner, it’s going to feel like a Top Gun “Take My Breath Away” moment.
Why bother?
You build confidence. Forget Sixteen Candles’ insecure Samantha—own your Molly Ringwald energy like you know what’s up.
You communicate better: "Hey babe, you’re pressing all the wrong buttons...this isn’t a joystick from the arcade."
It’s a lifelong ticket to Pleasure Town, population: YOU.
Guys, Stop Thinking It’s a Yelp Review
Gentlemen, we need a little sidebar because apparently listening is harder for some of you than following the plot of Inception. If your partner is giving you directions in the bedroom, that’s a gift, not a critique. It’s like she just handed you the treasure map to the Goonies’ ship, and you’re here whining, "But I thought the cave was over here..."
Let me break it down:
Her telling you what she likes is a fast pass to success.
You’re not the star of this show; you’re part of an ensemble cast.
And no, frantically pushing random buttons doesn’t make you Maverick. Be her Goose, and maybe, just maybe, she’ll soar with you.
Love my snarky takes on marriage, parenting, and the chaos of raising an ADHD-fueled family—while still trying to live that crunchy dream? Help keep the laughs rolling, the sourdough rising, and the wellness wisdom flowing. Toss a few bucks my way—because organic sarcasm and real talk deserve a little funding. 😉Medical Benefits (Yes, There’s Science Behind This)
Now, for those of you who need some cold, hard facts to back up all this fun:
Pelvic Floor Gains: Yep, orgasms give your pelvic muscles a workout. Say hello to bladder control and goodbye to awkward leaks during Dirty Dancing-style lifts.
Stress Reduction: Let’s face it; life is better when you’ve had your Meg Ryan moment at least once a week.
Glowing Skin: Increased blood flow = happy face. Forget overpriced serums—nature’s got your back.
Sleep: Better than warm milk and counting sheep (but maybe don’t scream “Yes!” into your pillow if you share walls).
This Isn’t Rocket Science (Or Anatomy 101)
At the end of the day, all of this boils down to communication, exploration, and effort. Ladies, find out what works for you, and don’t let anyone tell you it’s shameful. This isn’t Footloose—you’re allowed to dance (or...flick) like no one’s watching.
And gents, if your ego bruises easily, maybe take a breather and try to hear her out without acting like it’s the Breakfast Club detention all over again. Sometimes, the simplest answer really is: "Don’t you...forget about me (and my needs)."
Final Takeaways
Ladies: Get in touch with yourself—literally. Find what feels good, and own it like you’re Jennifer Grey in the Dirty Dancing finale.
Guys: Follow the map. It’s not criticism; it’s foreplay. And remember—pleasure is a two-way street. Aim to be less clueless teen heartthrob, more Patrick Swayze-level iconic.
Because life’s too short to pretend we’re not all aiming for the O-Face Olympics. So get to flickin’—and may the (Goonies) treasure hunt be ever in your favor.
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